| hey folks! who reads this anymore? NOBODY!!! haha. well, for old times sake, i thought i would share my thoughts and pour out my heart into the fellow cyber hearts of my cyber friends. i wonder if anyone that isn't 100% geek would ever say anything like that ever... hmm... something to ponder. so, i have been reading, and praying, and doing all the stuff those crazy church people tell you you should do to have a "truly intimate walk with our Savior Jesus Christ" and i guess its going pretty peachy... yeah, w/e. im just getting sick of it all again. im tired of reading the Bible and having my quiet time because it is what i am supposed to do. im tired of going to church and having religious discussions because Pastor Craig said it is what "Christians" do. well, a lot of "Christians" i know are getting laid quite regularly, possibly while they are high/drunk... so im thinking about a different approach. how about something called love? eh? eh? sound ok? all right, lets check it out then! i confess my ignorance and dry religious life of the past year or so... because i hope to put it behind me. ive been doing things cuz im supposed to. ive been doing the absolute minimum that i see necessary to keep my conscience clear and God off of my back. i didn't think about it twice tho. my life is too busy. i have to much important stuff to do right now. ill think about it later. things are just kind of hard at the moment. im sure God understands. well, as contradictory as this may seem... He does! God totally understands! He understands what ignorant little idiots we are for letting our evil desires so easily blind us from what is real... and what is real is our Lord Jesus Christ and His desire to destroy Satan's chance at having a nibble at our souls. what do i propose then. hmm... yes, let us bring this question to the honorable caleb. what does caleb have to say. well, heck, i don't know. i don't have an answer. i don't know a thing. only recently have i actually become aware of my ignorance, so, in light of such a revelation, i feel free to make such sarcastic comments as "honorable caleb" since i am quite sure you will become aware of the humor involved. im an idiot. but here is what the Creator of our universe revealed to me... everything about me recently has been bull crap. im an idiot... but not all is lost. God still wants me. He LOVES me. hold up, don't take that wrong. i beg everyone that is gonna read this to not be under the false impression that when i say He "loves" me, that it means the stupid love we are taught it means in sunday school. it isn't the "love" that says "do what you want and i will forgive you later" or "im here for you when it is convenient for you." it is the kind of love that has such a sense of urgency that i feel myself overwhelmed every once in a while. i get a taste of what i am doing in relation to how it will effect me eternally and i get shivers. He loves me and therefore is genuinely concerned about my eternal damnation. it concerns Him... kinda like it should concern you. He made me aware of my ignorance, revealed His love, which is more than butterflies and cotton candy and pretty sunrises and rainbows, for me and i fell. i realize my folly (indeed, i realize more and more every day) and i am doing my best to follow. now, what does any of this mean? well, basically, all i am saying is the nearly everything you are taught in church is wrong. and, if it isn't wrong, it is most certainly poorly portrayed to the point that once you finally have time to have it all sink it in, you have just consumed the most watered down version of a story available. so dig deeper, but do it yourself. don't go read your Bible to read your Bible. don't pray to pray. spend time with God. give Him time to tell you what you need to do with your life. despite what the majority of the staff at OBC want you to believe, Christianity is based upon a relationship between you and God. the church allows you to also have fellowship with others, but in between the fellowship should be a much deeper, more important, genuine relationship between each individual and the God they reverently serve. so please take my word of caution. ive been screwing up, so pray for me. but at the same time, please take care for yourself! and take heart, you are not alone. our Lord and Savior will not give up on us so quickly or quietly.
-styxx
ps- Romans 12:2 |
